DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
