she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
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He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
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I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize