Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Randomize
