wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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