i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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