I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
