haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
How's work?
Spinning.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
