dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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