It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
