But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
