The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
