U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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