Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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