the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
