Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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