plz talk dirty to me
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
