East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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