iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
