i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
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I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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