so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
