Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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