she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
