i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
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