how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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