I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
