but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
