Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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