She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Randomize
