New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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