There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
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