i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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