his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
