found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
