i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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