So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Randomize
