I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
We're too hungover to prance.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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