Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
