she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
