she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
