"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
