theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
