you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
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The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
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MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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