Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
