dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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