She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
When are your genitals available?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Randomize