Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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