She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
and eventually we just all took our pants off
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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