My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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