I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
