I just threw up on my dentist
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Bring me that man meat
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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