I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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