your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
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She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
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Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Randomize