i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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