Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Randomize
