ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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