I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
