I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Even the bartender felt bad for me
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
