evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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