Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
