WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
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