I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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