just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize