my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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