my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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